Astounding quotes written in the pages of books by Dubbo Authors

by | Jul 24, 2023 | Dubbo - Local News, Events, Opinion, & Articles | 0 comments

Don’t be so quick to judge a fellow human being. You don’t know what they have been through. And besides they might have special powers, so you wouldn’t want to fuck with them.
– ‘Searching for Hidden Messages’ by Darryl J Bishop


Everyone has that one weird toe. The trick is to love that toe just like it was a normal toe and not the manky one.
– ‘A Princess Never Pouts’ by Nadia Clisp


Never give up on something you’re not good at just because it costs a lot of money.
– ‘Home Projects’ by D J Campbell


If you want to get rich quick! You just have to find the best-sounding scheme. One that fools everybody.
– ‘Winners Make Bank’ by Jason L Dean


Take it from me. Farts can be surprising, even at my age, whether it’s the sound, the smell, or the follow-through.
– ‘Lessons of an Old Fart’ – P J Weatherly


80% of people don’t realise that 80% of people are too stupid to realise that 80% of people are stupid.
– ‘The Wrong Room’ by Emily Jones


The world’s not a bad place when you don’t think about it.
– ‘Zen Quotes’ by Vic C Marsden


If you’ve ever played the Cornish horn, you know how difficult it is to file your own tax return.
– ‘Instruments of Chaos’ by Nadia Ptolemy


Most people don’t realise how good they have it until the nuclear fallout hits their area.
– ‘Death Knell’ by Jeremy Flint


Kindness is a lot easier to practice when the people around you stop acting like arseholes.
– ‘Being Present in an Age of Distraction’ by Kerry Wilt


If you have a problem and you want to solve it, the first thing you have to do is admit it’s all your fault.
– ‘You’re Wrong’ by Damian K Saunders


No man is truly alone if he has a psychologist he’s secretly in love with.
– ‘Love Not Spoken’ by Angela K King


Fat people get a lot of flack, but what most people don’t realise is some of them have serious health issues.
– ‘Be Kind, You Arseholes!’ by Fanny Black


Be a better man than the man you were yesterday. He was a cunt!
– ‘Admit you’re a cunt and move forward.’ Greg Bathe


I man can’t survive on bread and fish and chocolate and lollies alone.
– ‘New Age Sausage’ by Jill Peats


Remember this. Every day is a whole new chance at fucking things up even worse than you have today. You piece of shit!
– ‘Getting Real in your 20s’ Berris H Glurt


A man is only as good as the bike he rides and the cigars he smokes.
– ‘Real Men Are Tougher’ by Terry Neegan


People ask me why I’ve got so much confidence and I tell them straight up. I’ve never shit myself. Not once, even at home. I’m regular, and I eat a lot of fibre.
– ‘The Diet and Confidence Link’ by Tony Brass


The truth is not something you can search for and find. It’s something that hits you over the head at 3am in the morning.
– ‘Searching for the Profound’ by Margaret Stains


Everyone should have a garden to keep busy and stay healthy. These people who have friends and spend their time with family or socialising are really missing out.
– ‘Alone but not Lonely Gardening Guide’ by E Pincher


I thought fat people were lazy and had no excuses, but since putting on 30 kg in two years, I am full of excuses and they are more than valid. It’s funny how you can disregard something until it affects you. I’ve stopped calling people fatties.
– ‘Be Kind, You Arseholes!’ by Fanny Black


These people who travel don’t understand the value of being poor enough to just stay home twenty-four-seven.
– ‘Good Living on not much’ by T R Anthony


I thought it was cancer. Turns out it was just a ringworm.
– ‘Unnecessary Health Scares’ by Kylie Brett


Dubbo was once a mighty town on the river full of real men. And women who knew their place.
– ‘Things were better under God!’ by T L Browne


By the eighties, my conquests with the ladies were legendary amongst my relatives and friends. You couldn’t be the way I was these days. You’d get cancelled and maybe even sent to prison.
– ‘Office Flirtations’ by Dan Rough


Thirty-five years as a newsman at the Dubbo Observer has taught me a lot about the people of Dubbo, and all in all, I’m really not that impressed. I’d rather have been working at a large metropolitan news outlet than be stuck in this backwater with all you losers.
– ‘Boom & Bust’ by Darryl Hawthorn


I learnt when I had my children that while teasing people who look funny is a whole lot of fun, it’s actually quite damaging to the people being teased. That’s why these days I only think things and do not say them out loud for a laugh.
– ‘Causing Harm’ by Merryl Peters


Baris’ muscles gleamed in the moonlight as he thrusted himself towards Gladriel and wrapped his arms around hers. “You will be mine, Gladriel. It is written in the stars.” “No Baris, our love is forbidden by the high council of mages. You must go before they sense your presence.”
– ‘A Tale of Mages Daughters’ – Book II in the Essence of Fire Trilogy by Glenn J Packard


“Us bush people need to stick together,” said Mike. “Fair dinkum Henry, you’ve gone and become a bushranger, you’re gonna get us all killed, yah galah!”
– ‘The Delilequin Boys’ by Henry Archer


Dubbo has always been a football community. They breed them tough down this way. We don’t have time for fancy book learning or certificates. There are things to be lifted and dirt to be shovelled.
– ‘Things were better under God!’ by T L Browne


Darryl Fergusson was a ferocious alcoholic and smoker. But he was also an avid reader and talked using big words. That’s why when he shit himself at the pub after a few too many, the people of Dubbo would never let him live it down. That’s why, despite all his various contributions to the Dubbo community, he wasn’t known as a doer of good, but a shitter of pants.
– ‘A Good Man – The Darryl Fergusson Story’ by Dan Asher


There once was a man with a mullet
If he had a cold beer, he would scull it
In Dubbo, he lived. if bored he would pig
For pigging was his major talent.
– ‘No Man’s Land – Selected Poems’ by D L Lewis


The most fun we had as kids was picking on the retarded kids on the school bus. Me and my brother Ken would find so much joy in thinking of ways to make these kids’ lives difficult. Things were simpler back then. The simple joys of teasing. The wholesome fun of throwing rocks at street signs, and using baby kittens to catch cod down the river. We had it all, really.
– ‘Things were better under God!’ by T L Browne





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Neville Griffin

Neville Griffin

Chief Editor - Dubbo Observer

Neville is a NEWS man through and through. Whether it’s a CWA cake sale or a car rally for bogans, Neville ensures accurate and timely reporting for the people of Dubbo and District. Neville is also a greyhound owner and enjoys a punt. He’s a man of the BUSH. Through and through!