Fantasy Series: Dark Realms – Forgotten Son

Enter the world of Dark Realms, a fantasy realm like no other. Please read our free series: Dark Realms - Forgotten Son, based on the works of JRR Martin, Tileth Hofmath, R.A. Salvatore, and R.L Stine.

"Parmizan has returned to the throne, we seek a cheesing with the council!"- Galemtossell the Red.

Dark Realms: Forgotten Son – Gomly & Faldrian

“Beware the fool who tries to fool the fool into thinking he’s not a fool.” Says Gomly. “Does that mean you’re both fools Gomly?” Said Faldrian, before chuckling to himself. “No, he’s the fool for thinking I’m a fool.”
Faldrian lifts his leg and does a loud stinking fart. “I’m a Windwalker, I can harness the wind, and that fart proves it.” “Stop pissing about. This half-elf says he will take us through the valley of Terranobly. But it’s a trick. But I think we should play along, we have to keep our wits about us.” Explained Gomly while Faldron lifts his leg again and lets out a corker.
“Definitely a Windwalker, I just need someone to teach me the cones and I’ll pretty much be able to fly us over the valley.” “Stop fucking about! If we want to reach Tarnith before the red moon we have to take our chances with the half-elf.”
Faldron lifts his leg again to let out another loud fart, but before he can Gomly knocks him off his chair and tells him it’s time to go. Faldron looked up to see the half-elf walking through the tavern doors, he yelled to the half-elf, “Do you know the cones of the Windwalker?” Before letting out another loud fart.

Dark Realms - Tales from the Chipsies: Young Tentrin, Gallanthian Captive

Deep in the jungles of Tartaria. There are said to be hidden, the three crystals of Magellan. Once these three crystals are attached to a Gallanthians body through their huge pores. They will be able to see the future. Most people think this is a fairy story made up by the Gallanthians to make them feel special. But that doesn’t stop the Gallanthians from banging on about it. I have lived with the Gallanthians ever since
I was stolen by my tribe, and they constantly try to tell me that it’s true. But there is no evidence and the people I was stolen from have minds which are very logical and we can smell bullshit a mile off. The Gallanthian are going on a yearly pilgrimage into the jungle to find one of these so-called crystals, and they are making me come as penance for questioning their lore. Everyone keeps saying, “You’ll see!”, but the results will be the same as last year, and all the years before that. Gallanthians are fucking insane.

Dark Realms: Dominion of Elves – Rendonere’s Betrayal

“You wish to brave the Shadowlands, and for what? A girl. That is the dominion of the elves.” “But Claremont she is an elf. Once I find her, I will be safe. She left directions which are quite clear.” “It’s a trap Rendonere, she wants the crystal boy.””I know I’m giving it to her.”

Dark Realms: Unforgiving Jungles – Crown of Shibberness

Deep in the unforgiving jungles known as the Crown of Shibberness, there is said to be hidden a cave that contains the final moonstone. We have three of the four moonstones, known as the Moons of Celesteock. With the final moonstone in our possession we could essentially sell them as a complete set, increasing their value, said Telladoor as he took another big puff on his windstick.
“Why would we want to sell the moonstone when you can use their ancient magic for ourselves? said Glive of the Twillos. “You fool, you need to be a moonblood to control the stones,” said Telladoor before taking another big hit of his windstick. Then he added, “None of us are Moonblood’s, we don’t have the mark.”
“So how much would we get for the set?” said Tepply, the youngest of their possie of thieves and shylocks. “About 6000 crepples!” Said Telladoor, before taking another big hit of his windstick. “This is some good shit!” He said before falling completely off the stump he was perched on.
“It’s settled then, when Telladoor wakes up we head west towards the Crown of Shibberness.” said Glive of the Twillos. Golfreed, the new member of the group leans forward and whispers into Glives ear, “He won’t be waking up. I have the mark, I am Moonblood. I can control the moonstones, boiii!” Glive laugh’s and says, “You sly bastard!” Before taking a puff of his windstick and passing out too.

Dark Realms - Hidden Runes: The Gelga Riddle – Part I

Seven years ago, I stumbled on a mysterious box. I knew it was mysterious based on the box’s carvings, which were even more mysterious. I took this mysterious item to my abode, hoping to uncover its secrets. Every day I would tinker with it hoping that its mysteries would be unlocked as easy as it was to unlock the box itself, which was real easy as it was just secured with a simple latch. The box was empty when I found it, which may be a clue that I am yet to unravel.
Until today the box has remained a mystery, until yesterday I came upon a mysterious book that translated the mysterious hieroglyphics into the old tongue, which I know well because of my father who taught the old tongues to blind children who needed something to do.

Dark Realms: Young Bequius the Chosen – The Cleansing

I was three when the Emperor of the Shadowlands summoned me to the palace to check the markings on my body. To see if I was the chosen.
My parents were in fear for my life. What if the emperor rejected my right to rule? Or worse what if he killed me? They had a plan. They were to be extra nice and act like it wasn’t such a big deal. To treat the emperor like he would be the one really in charge and I, young Bequius was no-threat to his standing.
It had worked for now. But there were words in the wind of an uprising in the south. The South wanted blood because of the blood curses the emperor dolled out to them from time to time just to keep the unruly South in line. But the South was sick of it, they were fed up with the blood curses and knew of the ancients had birthed another chosen into the world, and that made them cocky.
They would chant stuff like, ‘The emperor is a big old duche bag!” Either way, shit was going down and I was too young to do anything about it.
It would be up to my parents to make the plays and keep me alive long enough to restore order to the Shadowlands with peace and light.

Dark Realms: Elven Ways – High Elf Policy

Andron was a young elf from the Once Forgotten Forest. They say he differed from the other elves. He preached peace between the humans, dwarves, and elves. He talked of a world where they could all live together without the needless slaughters of the past. The high elves locked him up for blaspheming against his tribe.
They let him out of the cells when he was older and much wiser because the highest of high elves said he had learnt his lesson. But when he got out, he once again started banging on about uniting the world in peace. So they hanged the traitor as a lesson to those who would dare question official high elf policy.

Dark Realms: Armies of Darkverness – The Magic Whistle

“I am but one man Sjourn, how am I alone supposed to defeat the Armies of Darkverness?” “With your magic whistle, Velderbrin. They hate that sound, now get out there and blow that whistle like our lives depended on it, because they do.” “But the whistle makes no sound. Maybe not to our ears boy, but to them it’s like fire in their minds, now get out there and blow before they reach the gates.”

Dark Realms: The Lilapett Riddles – Nathan’s Burden

When I was a kid I had a magical wand named Gleeson. It would turn ice cream into better-tasting ice cream. It could make me run 14.253% faster over a distance of 0.635 miles. My wand was my advantage. Then my sister broke it out of spite. Fuck her. Now I’m just ordinary. Fucking bitch….I’ll never forgive her.

Dark Realms: Bogsnorts Before Barry Trotter – Brent Blowers – Book II

Long before the land of wizards and magic knew the name of Barry Trotter. There was one even more powerful and slightly more handsome. His name was Brent, Brent Blowers! He also had a scar on his head, but he got his when he ran head-first into a wall completely by accident. But everyone suspected he thought it was the wall that you use to hop on the train to go to Bogsnorts.
Brent was such a special guy. But everyone just wants to talk about Barry Potter. And they have all forgotten about Brent who also had a hard life. But used his power to save us all from a Wizard who was way worse than Boldersnort and his whore crushes.

Dark Realms: Sneeborn – The keys to the emergence of the key

Deep in the mountains of Gazeroth lay the keys to the emergence of the key to joining together of the five nations into one more powerful nation. But for them to reach the depths of the lower levels of the caverns in the mountains of Gazeroth, they would need the five keys to unlock the five doors of Gazeroth.
“Don’t worry about going on a mad quest to find the five keys, it’s a death march.” I am a lock picker and I’ll just pick each of the locks. How hard can it be.” Said Sneeborn the lockpicker. Davron the wise said, “You fools, these are not ordinary locks, they are magical locks made by the long-dead old order of red dwarves.”
“That’s alright said Sneeborn. I’m a magical lock picker. I’m a descendant of those old-order red dwarves you speak of, on my mum’s side, so it’s all cool. Cool-cool!” said Davron. “The seven of us will head into the mountain and do what needs to be done to fulfil the prophecy.” “Yay,” said everyone.
Girlzly the map maker spoke up. “I and my father before me have spent our lives mapping the locations of the five keys, and only now the family of Sneeborn tells us this fact. I’m a little cranky.”

Dark Realms - Seasonal Meats: The Elves of Meeandoor

They came in like thieves in the night, except they weren’t thieves, they were bearers of gifts. They were the elves of Meeandoor who orchestrated the charade known as Christmas. There’s no Santa, there never was, only the elves and their presents.
They didn’t make the presents, another lie. They bought them online. How do they pay for all these gifts? Large amounts of narcotics, that’s how. It was never the Mexicans, that was just a front. But why? Because happy kids make tender meat!

Dark Realms: Gnome Land – Spinny Portal

She turned around three times and they were back in Gnome Land, just like Sangee the Gnome told him. Did she have this ability all along? Or did Sangee cast some sort of spell? Either way, here she was standing in Gnome Land.
But how to get back to her world? Maybe spin around in the opposite direction the same number of times. Yes, I’m back.
But can I go back to Gnome Land or was it a one-time thing? She hadn’t even had a look around. Maybe spin again and find out. It worked. I’m back in Gnome Land.
But what if it was like wishes and I only get three of them? Time to spin around and find out. Yes back home.
But what if…..


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